Leaving Kidsgrove fairly early (for us) we were soon back on the Trent and Mersey at the top of the Cheshire Locks (aka Heartbreak Hill), and shortly thereafter were attending to Song & Dance’s needs at the CaRT depot at Red Bull. It was by now blisteringly hot, and after another five locks or so we moored up for lunch at a favourite spot (given there’s not a lot of choice down the flight) by Church Lawton.

The head gardener had long expressed a desire to visit Rode Hall – it’s within “walking distance” of both the Macclesfield Canal and the Trent and Mersey, but fortunately only open to the public on Wednesdays, and we’d always managed to safely avoid it. However, close inspection of the map showed that it was not only a mile or so from the Trent & Mersey, but by some planning error cock-up it was not only far too hot to work down the locks, but it was also a Wednesday.

Sadly, the back of the estate might only be about a mile from the canal, but the visitor entrance is right at the other end – about three-quarters of a mile along the fields, then half a mile up the road, before another three-quarters of a mile down the front drive. But hey, nothing ventured…

The initial approach, following the canal down a couple of locks, is most pleasant, with fine views of Mow Cop in the distance. Then it was across the fields and along the edge of the estate…

Madam was rather taken by the farm cottage we passed with the strange front door; myself I preferred the lodge house at the Rode Hall main entrance, once we got there.

By now, suffering from the hour-long trek in, in Arabian summer heat, I was assured by SWMBO that there would be an oasis (i.e. tea room)  at the end of the everlasting drive, and that it would still be open. And so it proved, once we found it. And splendid it was too.

Before committing to the Bosley locks, we thought we’d better just check on the Marple Locks situation… and sure enough, they were closed again. Lock 9 had collapsed last year, and they’d closed and drained the whole flight while major repairs to Lock 9 were made. Took them all winter, and the original scheduled Easter opening slipped to the second May Bank Holiday).  Then – quelle surprise – when the locks were reopened, Lock 11 started falling apart in much the same way, having been de-watered all those months, just as a lot of boaters had predicted. There was talk of limited access, then more boats got stuck, so they closed Lock 11, and said “we’ll let you know what’s happening at the end of the week”.

Not wishing to head all the way up to Marple only to find that the flight still remained closed, we decided to revert to Plan B: going North West before turning back towards Manchester, then crossing the Pennines on the formidable Leeds & Liverpool Canal. A long way round, given we were trying to get to Wakefield for mid-July for Morris Dancing reasons; a route we’d thought we’d come back that way in the autumn,

So, cancelling assorted loose arrangements to meet up with various friends in Macclesfield, Marple and Stockport, on Tuesday morning we tackled the first of the Bosley Locks, turned round in the now properly watered winding hole without problems, and set course for Kidsgrove and the Cheshire Locks.

This long distance boating is nothing if not unpredictable!

Anyway, retracing our steps with a modicum of alacrity, we made our way all the way pretty much back to the junction with the Trent & Mersey Canal at Kidsgrove, moored up and hit the big Tesco store. (Having visited ICL Kidsgrove on several occasions for work reasons in the 70s and 80s, I’d never been into the town itself. What goes round…)

Cooking dinner on Friday night, we’d run out of Calor gas halfway through, so we hassled the chief engineer, who swapped over the gas bottles so the incineration could continue. Saturday morning, on opening the back doors there was a strong smell of gas; a dabble with some diluted Fairy Liquid showed gas leaking out where the “new” gas bottle was connected to the flexible regulator plumbing.

Turning things off, the connection was given a good clean and a serious talking to, and tightened up again, to no avail. So it was off with the gas, and we resigned ourselves to rather limited cooking facilities until we either got another gas bottle or found a gas engineer who could work some magic (the “new”/full gas bottle looked a bit long in the tooth particularly at the valve end, and had perhaps reached its useful life). The connection between the regulator hose and the bottle is a conical brass to brass union that just seems to rely on a tight fit/pressure to work – never understood how that could the job, but there you go.

So, irritatingly starting a sentence with “so”, we set off up Meaford Locks, and as it happened we made better progress than expected, and unfortunately passed Barlaston and The Plume of Feathers (With Neil Morrissey) – as it styles itself – just as things were kicking off back near home. Apparently Harry and Wills had spent the pre-wedding night at the hotel just at the end of our road – glad we were away to miss the undoubted chaos. Anyway, just past the pub was somewhere to tie up (damn!), so the chief cook rushed off to see if they had a suitable television, while muggins moored up, locked up, and subsequently arrived to find a TV (double damn!). Lunch and Guinness were ordered (mutter, mutter!). I must admit that with no sound and erratic subtitles , the preacher chappie was quite amusing. No sign of Neil Morrissey, though (in pub or congregation).

Madam wished to carry out yet another investigation of Wedgewood rejects (sorry, “Seconds”) at the factory just up the road, so after the wedding festivities were over, we set off again – it was only about a mile – and mooring at the factory complex and trekked off to examine some overpriced fine china. Managed to get a decent ice cream, though!

Earlier, we’d passed a boat claiming to be an engineering outfit (“wonder if he does gas“, we thought), but it was all shut up. Anyway, just as we were putting the kettle on, said engineering boat puttered gently past, crewed by our Morris dancing, fiddler and boat painter friend Charlotte (who put in an appearance in Bollington a couple of years ago), with her new-ish chap (and now fiancé). Simon is a proper job boat engineer and following a quick conversation said he’d pop back once they’d moored up just under the bridge. Turns out they’d bought a house in Wedgewood Village, and were mooring up to strip out their boat prior to taking it up to Longport to sell it: two homes were too much!

When they wandered down, Simon took a quick look, then said: “if you loosen the connection off a little, then twist the hose to and fro so the two mating faces grind against each other a little, it usually fixes the problem.” It did. A handy life-hack to remember – thanks Simon. Dinner was back on the menu!

We’d arranged to leave Song & Dance in the tender care of Festival Park Marina while we headed down to Chippenham Folk Festival, so waving goodbye to Charlotte & Simon who were up  early and still unloading stuff, we headed off through Stoke-on-Trent and up the Stoke Locks once more to moor outside the Marina, all ready to move in first thing Monday morning. For once things were going to plan.

Leaving Tixall Wide we were soon back on the Trent & Mersey at Great Heywood Junction. Just under the road bridge, rather than mooring up, the man about the boat held onto the middle rope while the lady of the house nipped across the bridge to raid the huge farm shop. That piece of business sorted, we were off again through familiar (but pleasant territory) and on the Thursday moored out in the boonies somewhere south of Stone, before heading off into the metropolis on Friday, mooring up just before lunch below the Star Inn and locks.

We have always rather liked Stone – a small self-contained market town and very much a canal town. But for how much longer? There’s always been a nice butcher, plus some odd and interesting shops, and a large Co-Op in the pedestrianized High Street which incorporated a post office (and which had posters on the canal offering free delivery to boats). There is also a smallish Morrisons on the ring road, but far enough from the canal to make the Co-Op the favourite stop. But there it was – gone.

Apparently there’s a new out-of-town shopping area (miles out of town) with a big supermarket, and the Co-Op decided they couldn’t compete so shut up shop. Including the Post Office. With no banks (they’d all packed up after training their customers to use the Post Office), no Post Office (and no one wanting to take it on – not even W H Smiths), one wonders how much longer Stone will stay a recognizable town. The council now run a free bus service on Thursday mornings to the nearest Post Office some miles away, presumably so people can go and pick up their pensions and/or benefits.

To add to the town’s woes, there’s a proposed major HS2 development site which will clog up the roads for years, and once complete will become an HS2 / Lorry interchange centre clogging up the roads for ever after. To add to the absurdity, just across the canal from town, by the pub, they’re building what looks like a large glass extension to the sports centre. We thought a new swimming pool maybe, but no, it’s apparently going to be a Marks & Spencer food outlet. It’s a strange world.

Anyway, with a satisfactory visit to the splendid ironmonger shop and some basic provisions acquired, we headed out of town without even stopping for a drink at the Star Inn, and packed up for the night at the bottom of Meaford Locks. It’s a slightly odd spot, as the towpath side is pretty rural but the other side is a new and clearly pretty upmarket housing estate (with a couple or three boats moored there too). We’d met someone earlier in the trip who lived and moored here: they were on their way home but we’d clearly beaten them to it.

Waving goodbye to the ghosts of pussy-cats past, we set off to find some milk. Actually we needed a lot more than that, and were aiming for Rugeley, where there is not only a huge disused power station but a 24 hour Tesco and a large Morrisons both within a hundred yards of the visitor moorings. It’s not the most prepossessing of towns (to put it mildly) but the approach via Handsacre and Armitage Shanks’ factory, and the departure via the aqueduct over the River Trent are a lot more interesting than one might expect. The visitor moorings are justifiably popular with boaters with the two supermarkets, and town centre all within five minutes walk.

But first we needed some boaty things done somewhat urgently; Kings Bromley Marina is just a few minutes cruising from Wood End lock, but we’d never been in before. It seemed rather a nice marina, although turning and reversing Song & Dance onto the service pontoon was a bit of a challenge – glad there wasn’t any wind to speak of. Mind you, you don’t see another boat for hours, then approaching the entrance, there’s a boat emerging while giving confusing indications regarding his intentions, and one coming down the canal the other way seemingly unwilling to stand off while things got sorted out.

Unusually, it was a woman who appeared to give Song & Dance a much needed pump-out, fill her with diesel and sell us some bits from their chandlery: she seemed to be odd-job-woman and the overall manager of the marina too. Unlike some places, where passing boats wanting pump-outs aren’t always welcomed with open arms, the helpful and friendly welcome were much appreciated. Should we be looking for somewhere to over-winter Song & Dance further north than Cropredy, we reckon Kings Bromley would be high on the list.

Anyway, with everything sorted, we carried on and made Rugeley Visitor Moorings by lunchtime (we got the last convenient one). The quartermaster wanted lunch on board before a proper shopping expedition, so muggins nipped into Tesco for a loaf of bread and a pint of milk, even though we were going back after perusing the delights of Rugeley high street and market. Man plans, God laughs…

Walking across the car-park and service area heading into town, Fran was momentarily distracted, tripped over a sleeping policeman, and went down like a sack of bricks. It was quite a fall, with cuts and grazes on hands and knees, and what subsequently became a truly impressive bruise on the hip. Needing to clean her wounds and sit down to let the shock wear off, we made it to the nearest seat: a handy Costa coffee establishment.

Wounds de-gravelled and cleaned up a bit, with the adrenalin wearing off and the caffeine a poor substitute, we had a quick look round the “Market Hall”, which was pretty much moribund, abandoned the plan to explore the local emporia for groceries, did another quick whizz round Tesco and decided to unwind by cruising out of Rugeley into the countryside a bit.

The moral of this is probably that you shouldn’t kick a sleeping policeman…